For the last 2 times I visited there, truth be told, I always feel excited at first. But then when my excitement wears down, I always tend to sense that I overstayed my welcome, even when in reality, I'm not. But that feeling still lingers to me, and it makes me feel like an asshole, I get scared, and wish that I leave as soon as possible.
I actually really like to visit markets, looking at meats, fruits and vegetables and food made and sold there. But lately whenever I visit the Borough Market and leave, I feel like my experience going there is like a disappointment. Sometimes I feel like I'm threatening people's lives for their jobs and duties whenever I open my mouth and say something I shouldn't say before quickly defending myself to make sure that I don't fall into more trouble than I should with my stupid mouth.
But just as much as I feel like an asshole for doing that and admit and agree that it's the employee's right to intervene when I break the rules right in front of them or admit it out loud, sometimes I think of what it's like to oblige the rules and laws made out of fear rather than respect or nonchalance.
At the same time though, it makes me think that I should stay at home rather than go outside and offend a whole lot of people from my stupidity, naivety, and ignorance. Which makes me feel shittier in a couple of hours than I do in a day or two.